7 signs that reveal your other half is a secret railway modeller

Have you got a secret model railway enthusiast in your midst?

Remember the R White’s Lemonade Advert from the 1980s?

I do.

Us model railway fanatics are a lot like the middle-aged guy in the advert.

While he secretly crept down to the fridge in the middle of the night to get his fix, we live for our trains but as model trains aren’t the most fashionable of pastimes we have to hide our Hornby trains.

As such, you might never know if your significant other is a secret train hobbyist. To help, I’ve consulted top, TOP,  psychologists and compiled this guide of the 7 signs that might reveal if your other half is a secret railway modeller

7 signs that will reveal if your other half is a secret railway modeller Click To Tweet

1. Parcels disappear before you see them

Especially the oblong shaped ones. It’s not another model train. Honest…

2. Requests to tidy the loft are jumped at.

And we then disappear for hours…

If you haven’t been up in the loft recently don’t assume it’s just a dumping ground of old suitcases and clothes that should really be in the local charity shop. My wife thought that until she ventured into the attic one day and discovered a model railway had mysteriously appeared along the back wall.

3. Trips to friends and family are made by train

Ever heard, “wouldn’t it be nice to go by train”…

No? You will.

4. The toolbox doesn’t have anything in it to repair the car

The toolbox has nothing in it large enough for household chores. Nope, instead of spanners and hammers that are useful for the changing a tyre or repairing a leak, it’s overflowing with watch-makers screwdrivers, micro files, pliers small enough to split an atom.

5. The top half of the Netflix recommended list is… 

We can’t sleep and get up, you hear the TV go on and the sound turned down.

The next day the Netflix / Prime recommended list is full of Great British Railway Journeys, Impossible Railways and the worst of all, the Biggest Little Railway In the World.

And it’s like that every day! Always!

6. Cryptic diagrams of ovals and lines found under the bed

Ah, the unmistakable evidence of late night track planning.

And if you find strange lists of numbers starting with R. take the credit card away now 🙂 Lists of Hornby part numbers are a sure sign of a secret modeller.

7. Kitchen utensils, bottles and hairsprays varnish

The food containers from Chinese takeaways, glass bottles, cocktail sticks, coffee stirrers and hairspray bottles mysteriously vanish. Even tin foil (it makes great model corrugated roofing) will go. If items from your kitchen or bathroom disappear you’ve got a secret model railway enthusiasts in your midst.

If you spot any of these signs, your other half needs urgent help. Send them to Model Railway Engineer.com, I’m here to help although sadly I can’t help with their singing 😉


One comment
  1. You know you need a modelling break when:-
    1 – You jerk awake at a news article on TV about ‘sleeper’ cells
    2 – You are trying to ignore a friend extolling the virtues of a new CD and when asked for your favourite track you reply ‘the Bluebell Line’
    3 – You want to name your new cat Kato.
    4 – Your hand automatically picks up Signal toothpaste
    5 – Your family think that Graham Farrish is a mate at work
    6 – Admit it, you thought the recent TV production on Britannia was about a steam train.
    7 – You use loco numbers to create lottery tickets and passwords
    8 – You think 007 is a new gauge
    9 – You tell people that DCC is the new District Cleaning Company.
    10 – The microwave goes ‘ding’ and you say ‘fares please’ (for the replacement bus service)

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